Have your Kids Help with Chores at Any Age

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work it takes to keep your house clean? It’s time to put your kid’s to work. Most experts agree that chores are good for children and they can really help lighten the load. My daughter is 5-years-old and I feel like just as I get one room clean I walk to the one she’s in and it’s now a disaster. It is time for her to help.

Author Jim Fay explains that chores are essential for children. In addition to our needs for physical and emotional safety, love and affection, and healthy amounts of control, he says, we also all need to be needed. That’s because we’re pack animals by nature.

“If your child never has to raise a finger, that basic need has been stolen away,” says Fay, co-founder of the parenting philosophy found at the web site loveandlogic.com. “Children need to feel as though they’re a cog in the wheel. But they can’t feel that way if they don’t have chores and make contributions to the family.”

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As an only child with many chores to regularly complete I know had a better understanding of what it took to run a house than some of my friends that had to do less. Though I didn’t appreciate it at the time it did establish helpful habits and a good attitude about work in me (especially when I also saw my parents doing their chores). This prepared me for the real world, taking pride in doing a good job and eased my transition to adulthood.

I’m all for my daughter contributing and preparing her for her future. I’ve been experimenting with what she can do so I recently tried having her wash dishes. Yes, she is young and it takes patience to watch what she’s doing but since I don’t have a dishwasher (How did that happen?) I will take what I can get. It is a slow process. Sometimes she loves to “help mommy” and other times she’d rather not. Sure, she uses too much water (plus gets it everywhere) and the dishes aren’t as clean as they could be but you’ve got to start somewhere. I stay in the kitchen wiping down countertops and then dry the dishes as she washes. Family fun! That way I can immediately see her process and show her when there is food that wasn’t quite washed off on dishes, give her tips AND tell her what a great job she’s doing.

Tip: Don’t rewash them yourself especially if your child is present as it can make them feel they didn’t do a good job and can demotivate them. Older kids may realize they can get out of doing the chore if they do a bad job.

At her age some of the dishes are a little unwieldy. She has to wash the outside of glasses by putting her fist inside then washes the inside while it sits on bottom of the sink. You may choose to only have your preschooler wash plastic dishes or metal pans instead of entrusting them with everything. It’s up to you. Get them started by having them put away some of the dishes or load up the dishwasher. Clearing the dinner table is something that is easy for almost any child.

Make sure the chore is something your child can handle but don’t underestimate them. If they can figure out a complicated video game they can probably handle a task that is one, two or more steps.

• Provide a wide berth with deadlines. You give them a framework and they can choose when it works best for them with that timeframe.
• Be specific with instructions. Example: ‘Put your clothes in the closet, books on the shelf, dishes in the kitchen, and toys in the toy box.’
• Ease into chores for children. First, demonstrate step-by-step. Next, let your child help, then supervise them. Then it’s up to them.
• Offer periodic praise.
• Go easy with reminders. You may want to have a chore board or use the “when/then” technique, such as, “When the pets are fed, then you may have your dinner.”

And, as your children grow up and get busy, don’t let them off the hook, says Fay. He says to tell them, “I hope you get so quick with your chores that they don’t interfere with everything else.”

Here is a list I found that can be helpful in dividing up chores for kids of any age.

Chores for children ages 2 to 3

• Put toys away.
• Fill pet’s food dish.
• Put clothes in hamper.
• Wipe up spills.
• Dust.
• Pile books and magazines.

Chores for children ages 4 to 5
Any of the above chores, plus:

• Make own bed.
• Empty wastebaskets
• Bring in mail or newspaper.
• Clear table.
• Pull weeds.
• Use hand-held vacuum to pick up crumbs.
• Water flowers.
• Unload utensils from dishwasher.
• Wash plastic dishes at sink.
• Fix bowl of cereal.

Chores for children ages 6 to 7
Any of the above chores, plus:

• Sort laundry.
• Sweep floors.
• Set and clear table.
• Help make and pack lunch.
• Weed and rake leaves.
• Keep bedroom tidy.
• Pour own drinks.

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Tips for Making Your Kids More Restaurant Friendly

A meal at a restaurant gives you a break from the kitchen, but young children often make the experience stressful for parents.

Of all of my nephews and nieces, they are all relatively well-behaved at restaurants and I truly think its important to socialize your children at public restaurants from when they are very small (toddlers) to help them learn how to behave properly and be more restaurant friendly.  Just like riding a bike — after a few mishaps, your kiddos will learn to pedal correctly (and not ride into the bushes).

However, I completely understand parents who are very anxious and hesitant to bring their children out to dinner for fear of there being no “kid food” or getting fidgety or having a meltdown at dinner. Etc. here are some of my tips for making your kids more “restaurant-friendly”:

1.  It all starts at home
Make meals fairly structured and most importantly, routine. Remember: Kids start out as a clean slate, so as parents, it is our responsibility to help them form good habits. Things to employ:

• Provide a variety on the plate – consistently. Even if it is one baby carrot stick and one apple slice, at least you are teaching them the importance of balanced nutrition.
• Stay away from foods and drinks high in sugar. Children are highly susceptible to highs and lows both mentally and physically when consuming high-sugar foods.
• Treats and sweets are just that, a treat. Keep them small (a small cookie) and offer them as a reward for eating properly.
• Have them ask to be excused from the table. This sets the tone of who is in charge.

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2.  Make meal periods interactive
At home they can help set the table, help choose the menu, and/or help prepare the food. This gives them a sense of involvement; they are invested in the meal.

At restaurants, let them choose what they would like to eat and bring a restaurant-appropriate activity.

Offer your child a toy, coloring book, small puzzle or similar activity to do at the table while waiting for the food. Bring extra items, letting your child play with one at a time to prevent him from getting bored.

3.  Timing of Dinner
Don’t think you are going to visit a restaurant at the hip, hot hours when most people go out. Always go earlier. You’ll get a better table, beat the rush, and even if your child has an outburst, you’ll be bothering a much smaller amount of people. Also, opt to be seated in a booth whenever possible, so it will be easier for you to keep your child contained.

4.  Make dining out sound like a special, rewarding and fun experience
Get them excited about the experience. If it is something to look forward to, they will want to do it again.

5.  Discuss restaurant etiquette BEFOREHAND as it applies to children
Keep the rules simple and easy to remember:

• “Use our inside voices”
• “Stay in our seats”
• “Do not throw food” – keep your expectations low if they are less than three.

Again, use dessert as a reward for good behavior/eating. And be consistent – I cannot stress this enough! Also, be patient.

Give the restaurant a heads up that you are bringing children. This gives them a chance to select an appropriate table and perhaps assign a server that has a better disposition for serving families.

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What is the Deal with Kids and Band-Aids?

Reading Dawn’s post about her school field trip mishap made me think about my teaching days. When I used to be an elementary school teacher, I went through boxes of Band-Aids. And I do mean BOXES! Not because my students were injured all the time, but because they felt that for every little “boo-boo,” a Band-Aid somehow made it all better. Now by “boo-boo” I’m talking about:

• a little scratch
• an insect bite
• an old bump
• a bruise
• a scar
• sometimes, a student would even go as far as picking an old scab just to get it bleeding for a Band-Aid!

Now that my oldest is school-aged, a fascination for Band-Aids has developed. And I was never one to pass out Band-Aids at home so I’m quite intrigued where this Band-Aid interest came from. Could it be because of these bandages now look like fancy stickers? There is quite a range of different characters to choose from—Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Spider Man, Scooby-Doo. Who wouldn’t want to sport one these cool bandages? Because nothing says, “I’m injured but still stylin'” like a Barbie-wrapped finger!

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Picking Your Battles

It’s hard to say "no" to this face!

I have a 28 month old. I don’t want to call it the terrible twos  because she’s just being independent…right? I love that she has a will of  her own, but boy, is it ever a challenge to get through everything these days! In the morning, it’s a struggle to pick clothes that are  acceptable to both of us. Throughout the day, it’s a (not fun) game trying to get her to pick up her toys.

The other night, I asked her to pick up all her magnetic letters and either put them on the fridge or in the old coffee can. She refused. I then asked her to help me do it. She just sat there and watched me. OK, I know I can’t do it for her because that is just setting myself up for the next 15-20 years of continuing to “do” for her. I decided this was a battle I was going to win and was prepared to do whatever it took to make it happen. Now I had to get tough and tell, not ask, her to do it. She still refused. I wrapped my hand around hers and helped her to pick up each letter and then released her hand making her drop it, but all that did was entertain her. She just thought it was funny. Finally I told her if she didn’t cooperate she had to go to bed. She still refused so I hauled her to the bedroom. She cried and said, “No, no”. When I asked if she would pick up her letters she said she would. I brought her back to the kitchen. When I sat her down she again refused. After going back and forth a couple of times with longer periods of time in the bedroom she finally gave in and picked everything up.

I know this process was significantly more painful for me than for her, but at least I won this round. She’s been a bit better about it this week. Next week, I’m sure there will be a whole new battle. I’d love to find out if anyone has a fun ways to teach kids to pick up after themselves.

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