Have your Kids Help with Chores at Any Age

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work it takes to keep your house clean? It’s time to put your kid’s to work. Most experts agree that chores are good for children and they can really help lighten the load. My daughter is 5-years-old and I feel like just as I get one room clean I walk to the one she’s in and it’s now a disaster. It is time for her to help.

Author Jim Fay explains that chores are essential for children. In addition to our needs for physical and emotional safety, love and affection, and healthy amounts of control, he says, we also all need to be needed. That’s because we’re pack animals by nature.

“If your child never has to raise a finger, that basic need has been stolen away,” says Fay, co-founder of the parenting philosophy found at the web site loveandlogic.com. “Children need to feel as though they’re a cog in the wheel. But they can’t feel that way if they don’t have chores and make contributions to the family.”

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As an only child with many chores to regularly complete I know had a better understanding of what it took to run a house than some of my friends that had to do less. Though I didn’t appreciate it at the time it did establish helpful habits and a good attitude about work in me (especially when I also saw my parents doing their chores). This prepared me for the real world, taking pride in doing a good job and eased my transition to adulthood.

I’m all for my daughter contributing and preparing her for her future. I’ve been experimenting with what she can do so I recently tried having her wash dishes. Yes, she is young and it takes patience to watch what she’s doing but since I don’t have a dishwasher (How did that happen?) I will take what I can get. It is a slow process. Sometimes she loves to “help mommy” and other times she’d rather not. Sure, she uses too much water (plus gets it everywhere) and the dishes aren’t as clean as they could be but you’ve got to start somewhere. I stay in the kitchen wiping down countertops and then dry the dishes as she washes. Family fun! That way I can immediately see her process and show her when there is food that wasn’t quite washed off on dishes, give her tips AND tell her what a great job she’s doing.

Tip: Don’t rewash them yourself especially if your child is present as it can make them feel they didn’t do a good job and can demotivate them. Older kids may realize they can get out of doing the chore if they do a bad job.

At her age some of the dishes are a little unwieldy. She has to wash the outside of glasses by putting her fist inside then washes the inside while it sits on bottom of the sink. You may choose to only have your preschooler wash plastic dishes or metal pans instead of entrusting them with everything. It’s up to you. Get them started by having them put away some of the dishes or load up the dishwasher. Clearing the dinner table is something that is easy for almost any child.

Make sure the chore is something your child can handle but don’t underestimate them. If they can figure out a complicated video game they can probably handle a task that is one, two or more steps.

• Provide a wide berth with deadlines. You give them a framework and they can choose when it works best for them with that timeframe.
• Be specific with instructions. Example: ‘Put your clothes in the closet, books on the shelf, dishes in the kitchen, and toys in the toy box.’
• Ease into chores for children. First, demonstrate step-by-step. Next, let your child help, then supervise them. Then it’s up to them.
• Offer periodic praise.
• Go easy with reminders. You may want to have a chore board or use the “when/then” technique, such as, “When the pets are fed, then you may have your dinner.”

And, as your children grow up and get busy, don’t let them off the hook, says Fay. He says to tell them, “I hope you get so quick with your chores that they don’t interfere with everything else.”

Here is a list I found that can be helpful in dividing up chores for kids of any age.

Chores for children ages 2 to 3

• Put toys away.
• Fill pet’s food dish.
• Put clothes in hamper.
• Wipe up spills.
• Dust.
• Pile books and magazines.

Chores for children ages 4 to 5
Any of the above chores, plus:

• Make own bed.
• Empty wastebaskets
• Bring in mail or newspaper.
• Clear table.
• Pull weeds.
• Use hand-held vacuum to pick up crumbs.
• Water flowers.
• Unload utensils from dishwasher.
• Wash plastic dishes at sink.
• Fix bowl of cereal.

Chores for children ages 6 to 7
Any of the above chores, plus:

• Sort laundry.
• Sweep floors.
• Set and clear table.
• Help make and pack lunch.
• Weed and rake leaves.
• Keep bedroom tidy.
• Pour own drinks.

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Tips for Making Your Kids More Restaurant Friendly

A meal at a restaurant gives you a break from the kitchen, but young children often make the experience stressful for parents.

Of all of my nephews and nieces, they are all relatively well-behaved at restaurants and I truly think its important to socialize your children at public restaurants from when they are very small (toddlers) to help them learn how to behave properly and be more restaurant friendly.  Just like riding a bike — after a few mishaps, your kiddos will learn to pedal correctly (and not ride into the bushes).

However, I completely understand parents who are very anxious and hesitant to bring their children out to dinner for fear of there being no “kid food” or getting fidgety or having a meltdown at dinner. Etc. here are some of my tips for making your kids more “restaurant-friendly”:

1.  It all starts at home
Make meals fairly structured and most importantly, routine. Remember: Kids start out as a clean slate, so as parents, it is our responsibility to help them form good habits. Things to employ:

• Provide a variety on the plate – consistently. Even if it is one baby carrot stick and one apple slice, at least you are teaching them the importance of balanced nutrition.
• Stay away from foods and drinks high in sugar. Children are highly susceptible to highs and lows both mentally and physically when consuming high-sugar foods.
• Treats and sweets are just that, a treat. Keep them small (a small cookie) and offer them as a reward for eating properly.
• Have them ask to be excused from the table. This sets the tone of who is in charge.

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2.  Make meal periods interactive
At home they can help set the table, help choose the menu, and/or help prepare the food. This gives them a sense of involvement; they are invested in the meal.

At restaurants, let them choose what they would like to eat and bring a restaurant-appropriate activity.

Offer your child a toy, coloring book, small puzzle or similar activity to do at the table while waiting for the food. Bring extra items, letting your child play with one at a time to prevent him from getting bored.

3.  Timing of Dinner
Don’t think you are going to visit a restaurant at the hip, hot hours when most people go out. Always go earlier. You’ll get a better table, beat the rush, and even if your child has an outburst, you’ll be bothering a much smaller amount of people. Also, opt to be seated in a booth whenever possible, so it will be easier for you to keep your child contained.

4.  Make dining out sound like a special, rewarding and fun experience
Get them excited about the experience. If it is something to look forward to, they will want to do it again.

5.  Discuss restaurant etiquette BEFOREHAND as it applies to children
Keep the rules simple and easy to remember:

• “Use our inside voices”
• “Stay in our seats”
• “Do not throw food” – keep your expectations low if they are less than three.

Again, use dessert as a reward for good behavior/eating. And be consistent – I cannot stress this enough! Also, be patient.

Give the restaurant a heads up that you are bringing children. This gives them a chance to select an appropriate table and perhaps assign a server that has a better disposition for serving families.

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Safety Tips for Young Children

Every parent is concerned about their child’s safety whether they are in a car seat, swimming in a pool, crossing the street or when they get separated from us. My daughter is now 3-years-old and I’m determined to teach her some basics about safety. We’ve all had the scare in a store when our child steps just out of our site. They may be only 1-2 feet away hiding in a clothing rack, but they might as well be half way across the store! As a parent, if we can’t see them, we don’t know if they’re safe. I may not show it to my daughter when this happens, but I’m panicked. I don’t want to instill fear in her, but my goal is to teach her some fundamental concepts and practices to keep her as safe as possible.  

Lilah playing Hide and Seek

• All children should know their Name, Parents Names, Phone Number, and Address as soon as they are able to (though they should also be taught not to share this with everyone).
• Teach your child to dial 911 at home or on a cell phone and explain the problem (mommy is sick or hurt or someone I don’t know is in the house).
• If your child gets separated it’s best to teach them to go to a woman (no offense guys) since statistics show that more children (beyond infancy) are taken or prayed upon by men.  Generally, telling them to go to a cashier is better than a security guard because an employees is always there (since children can not spot a fake badge or may mistake someone dressed all in blue as someone official) and they are likely to make an announcement for you or get security to find you.
• Teach them not to take anything from a stranger unless it is approved by you. There are sites that have safety games or that show you how to make flash cards with photos to help your child recognize the difference between a friend and a stranger.
• Abductors often ask for directions or for help finding a pet. Teach children to stay away from any adult asking for help because that adult should be asking an adult for help, not a child.
• Teach children what to do in case of an earthquake or other natural disaster that can strike your area. In case of a fire they should also know what the smoke detector sounds like and how to get to safety.
• Teach children to NEVER answer the door alone.
• Teach them to NEVER get in anyone’s car without your DIRECT permission.
• If you are out in public make sure your kids know where to go if you get separated. Make a plan. Statistics show that parents temporarily lose their children at theme parks 27% of the time. That’s almost 1 in 3.
• It’s important for them to know that if someone tries to grab them and take them away to yell for HELP!
• Promote an environment in which your child feels free to talk to you about anything. Tell them not to trust ANYONE who tells them to keep a secret from you.

As your child gets older, spends more time at friend’s houses or is unsupervised by you there are additional guidelines to put in place, but this should get you started. Here are a few websites ( www.kidpower.org, www.safechild.org,  www.dltk-kids.com, www.surfnetkids.com and www.powerofparentsonline.com) where you can find more information.

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