How to Help your Child Cope with Friends Leaving

This morning, while I was dropping my 4 1/2 year old off at school she told me that one of her very best friends was mad and was not talking to her. She didn’t know why and was sad. I talked with her about asking him why so that if she had done something wrong she could apologize. She agreed but when I turned to leave he was right in front of me. He was not his normal smiling self – something was weighing on him. I bent down and asked him what was wrong. To summarize, he told me he could no longer be friends with Lilah because he had new friends at his new school (he is leaving in August to go to a different Kindergarten). I was CRUSHED and so was Lilah. He seemed so unhappy about it too. I thought this is not the way to spend the last couple weeks together. 

At this point, we were drawing a crowd of preschoolers and I tried to explain that you can have many friends. I told him how Lilah still has friends from her old school. He didn’t believe me. The teacher came over to gather all the children and it was time for me to leave.

I spoke with the head of the school before I left and he assured me he would talk to ALL the children about it.  As much as I want to protect her, I know this is only the beginning of the misunderstandings, harsh words, and miscommunications that are part of a child’s life.

Here are a few tips to help your child through leaving or being left by their friends.

• Talk About It: Explain to your child that though they no longer attend school together, aren’t on the same team, or don’t live in the same area, they can still remain friends. We can’t have too many friends.
• Stay Connected: Set up play dates shortly after they are no longer together to assure them that they are still friends. If they are far away have them write a letter or call each other regularly. Depending on the age of your child, they can also email or be friends on Facebook.
• Try to make them understand that they will have many friends in their life and some see each other daily and others sporadically, but that doesn’t change their friendship.
• Put photos of your child’s friends in their rooms and talk about them often.

Obviously not all children will be able to maintain ALL their friendships (especially the young ones). But remember, if it’s a close friendship those kids are part of what has shaped them and are worth the effort it takes to stay connected.

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Rainy Day Playdates at the Bookstore

 

Paulo is wearing “Take Flight” from Le Top’s 2010 Fall/Winter collection.

When you schedule playdates in advanced, you hope the weather will be warm enough so you can meet up with your child’s friends at the park. I like meeting at a playground because it gives Paulo a chance to run around and burn off energy so that he naps well in the afternoon. Since we can’t always rely on the weatherman’s forecast, my Mommy friends and I always have a back-up place to meet in case it’s raining or if it’s too cold. That place is our local Barnes & Noble. Unfortunately, this is the back-up plan for everyone else, too. But that’s okay. It works out somehow.

Our bookstore has a train table in the children’s book section. They have a few trains for the kids to play with, and it’s cute (and sometimes not-so-cute) to see them learn how to share. Parents are also allowed to pick up a book from the shelves and read to their children. They have a little table and a few chairs, or you can even sit on the floor with your child on your lap and spend a quiet moment entertaining them with a story or two. Once a week, our bookstore has Story Time. The kids sit around the stage area while one of the staff members reads to the children. At the end of Story Time, they provide a small snack. Best part of Barnes & Noble? They have a Starbucks so I can order a grande soy caramel macchiato with whipped cream and enjoy drinking it while Paulo plays at the train table. Bliss!

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Le Top Tip: Play Dates – Three is a Crowd

This weekend I took my daughter on a play date with two other kids. Both of the children were from her daycare (she’s now in preschool). She had not seen one of them for 3-4 months and the other child, Lilah saw briefly a few weeks ago. They all love each other very much and couldn’t wait to play together, but what I found through this experience and by asking other parents, is that three can be a crowd. One child always seems to be more in demand. The other two may feel left out, jealous, or not have a partner. Though this is normal (especially with younger children) it may be helpful to have an even number of children on a play date. It doesn’t mean there is a guarantee of no problems, but hopefully with more friends there are more options. 🙂

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Moms’ Double Trouble

Miranda in Flamingo Bay (left) and Sophia in Strawberry Fields

A couple of weekends ago, we drove down to Southern California to attend a baby shower I’d been invited to. Knowing that the weather there is always much warmer than the San Francisco, I packed summer wear—mostly le•top outfits—since it’ll be awhile before we really get to wear them here in the Bay Area. We met up with my cousin and her kids at a park so that my daughter (Miranda) and her daughter (Sophia) could get some play time. They’re like sisters, these two. We call them “Double Trouble.” They’re both bossy and like to pick on the boys.

I was delighted to see Sophia in the le•top Strawberry Fields dress that I sent to her as a birthday gift. Meanwhile, Miranda was decked out in my favorite le•top collection, Flamingo Bay. What’s fabulous is, that although these outfits are from two different collections, they complement each other very well! Perfect for sisters, twins, cousins, friends — who like to dress alike but not exactly the same.

Visit our store locator to find these lovely collections near you.

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