A Bollywood Pre-School Graduation

Lilah and one of her best friends, Daniel, in their performance costumes

Wow, my daughter graduated from pre-school a week ago. I can’t believe the time has gone by so fast. I don’t recall at her age having a formal graduation like the one at her school. Though she is continuing there next year, most of her classmates are older and moving on to a different kindergarten or to first grade, depending on their age or skill level.

When it came time to sign-up for photos of Lilah in her cap and gown, I opted out of the individual photo and instead went with the group one where she was photographed with three of her favorite classmates in their graduation gowns. I can’t believe how wonderful it turned out. This is by far the best photo I have of them. Given that these friends won’t be with her on a daily basis anymore it is a keepsake for Lilah and a reminder for me to set up those play dates!

After the heartfelt graduation ceremony, Lilah and 5 of her classmates (ages 3 1/2 -5 1/2) performed an Indian dance routine while wearing beautiful costumes (complete with bindis) dancing to a song I remember from Slumdog Millionaire. They were all so incredibly adorable. Lilah never once looked at any of her fellow dancers for cues on what to do (though you could see her brain working waiting for the music prompts). I know I’ve overused the word “proud,” but it so perfectly explains how I felt. Grandparents from both sides of the family were in attendance cheering her on. What a great day!

Over the last week she has shown me that same routine no less than ten times. I guess it’s time for some formal dance lessons. Maybe hip hop since I know my little tomboy will not wear tights!

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How to Help your Child Cope with Friends Leaving

This morning, while I was dropping my 4 1/2 year old off at school she told me that one of her very best friends was mad and was not talking to her. She didn’t know why and was sad. I talked with her about asking him why so that if she had done something wrong she could apologize. She agreed but when I turned to leave he was right in front of me. He was not his normal smiling self – something was weighing on him. I bent down and asked him what was wrong. To summarize, he told me he could no longer be friends with Lilah because he had new friends at his new school (he is leaving in August to go to a different Kindergarten). I was CRUSHED and so was Lilah. He seemed so unhappy about it too. I thought this is not the way to spend the last couple weeks together. 

At this point, we were drawing a crowd of preschoolers and I tried to explain that you can have many friends. I told him how Lilah still has friends from her old school. He didn’t believe me. The teacher came over to gather all the children and it was time for me to leave.

I spoke with the head of the school before I left and he assured me he would talk to ALL the children about it.  As much as I want to protect her, I know this is only the beginning of the misunderstandings, harsh words, and miscommunications that are part of a child’s life.

Here are a few tips to help your child through leaving or being left by their friends.

• Talk About It: Explain to your child that though they no longer attend school together, aren’t on the same team, or don’t live in the same area, they can still remain friends. We can’t have too many friends.
• Stay Connected: Set up play dates shortly after they are no longer together to assure them that they are still friends. If they are far away have them write a letter or call each other regularly. Depending on the age of your child, they can also email or be friends on Facebook.
• Try to make them understand that they will have many friends in their life and some see each other daily and others sporadically, but that doesn’t change their friendship.
• Put photos of your child’s friends in their rooms and talk about them often.

Obviously not all children will be able to maintain ALL their friendships (especially the young ones). But remember, if it’s a close friendship those kids are part of what has shaped them and are worth the effort it takes to stay connected.

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