But I’m Not Tired!

Is this the phrase you hear from your child – when it is clearly late by the clock on the wall – and their grumpy, reactionary response to a call for bedtime tells you that he or she is in fact VERY tired? In our family our daily schedules are full, and if we want to spend time together, sleep tends to fall on the later side. I have always been thankful that my daughter sleeps well through the night and generally wakes up on her own; though I have found that having a good bedtime routine helps keep nighttime fuss to a minimum. The younger your child is when starting a bedtime routine, the more quickly the habits can be set into their brains. The goal is to have your kids fall to sleep on their own without you having to lie next to them or rock them to sleep.

Here is a short list of guidelines to follow:

• Stop or reduce physically and mentally stimulating activities 1 hour (or more depending on the child) before bed. Instead, have your child read, draw, or play with their toys in a quiet place. I know it is not recommended for them to watch TV during this time, but in our house, if it is something she’s not particularly interested in, it can have a sedative-like effect. If we are calm then she calms down. That does not mean let them fall asleep in front of the TV (though I am sometimes guilty of this after a long day). You still want to make sure they are awake when you start their sleepy-time routine.
• Bedtime routines vary depending on what works best in your family and the age of your child. Very often a bath is a perfect activity because it is relaxing. Even if bath time is not included, make sure they put on their pajamas, brush their teeth, use the potty and wash their face at a set time.
• Next, it is a good idea to help them unwind by talking with them and reading a bedtime story (or 3 as the case may be). Often my daughter tries to stretch her ‘just before bed time’ by ignoring my reading and instead starts jumping on the bed or playing around. I remind her that I am going to continue reading and when I’m done, I will leave the room whether she listened to the story or not. That always seems to get her to lie back down and listen.
• After the book – fix their covers, kiss them goodnight, wish them sweet dreams (or whatever you do) and leave the room. Many children have a favorite blanket or stuffed animal that gives them comfort while falling asleep. This is okay unless they are infants in which case it can be a safety hazard. Fans can be a nice white noise if there is still too much noise and activity in the house, but try to stay away from leaving any music on. I’ve known too many people that can’t fall asleep unless the TV or radio is on. This is not a habit that you want to nurture. There may be some crying, but unless is seems excessive for a long period of time – let it happen. If you run in every time your child starts crying, he or she will continue to do it.

Don’t give up – Yes, it can be painful in the short-term, but in long run you will set your child up for healthy nighttime habits. Be sure they get enough sleep between their night sleep and their naps to enable them to think clearly and recharge their cells.

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Are You Ready for a Year of “Firsts?”

There is one similarity with all recessions – when it is over a baby boom hits!  I have 8 friends expecting and Jamee is waiting for 14…so I would say “It’s beginning to look a lot like …the end of a recession!”

This new ‘generation’ of post-recession parents has their own set of ideas.  We have a legion of moms that want to do the right thing, and to achieve that goal they are diving into a pool of information that is limitless.  It is easy to get lost in a sea of books that tell you everything you ever needed to know about child rearing.  I decided to narrow down this vast list of books on parenthood because it seems overwhelming to a new mom-to-be (I’m not there quite yet, but it pays to plan ahead!)  I sat down with a group of my “mommy” friends to quiz them about the books they have read, and which ones ended up on their ‘recommended reading’ list.  Here is the list and their reasons why they are their top choices.

Belly Laughs, by Jenny McCarthy: All the mommy readers of this fabulously funny book agreed on three things:

1. It will make you laugh

2. It presents the ‘real life’ details of pregnancy

3. AND…NOT TO READ THIS BOOK UNLESS YOU ARE ALREADY PREGNANT OR YOU MAY NEVER WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN!

Two books tied as a weekly guide to pregnancy:  What to Expect when you are Expecting (Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi Eisenberg Murkoff, Sandee Eisenberg Hathaway) and Your Pregnancy – Week-by-Week (Glade B. Curtis, Judith Schuler).   Both of these books feature the week-by-week detailing of pregnancy and are written with short chapters for the mom in a hurry.

Rachael (expectant mom to Amara) says about “What to Expect…”: “My favorite part is once a week I read what stage the baby is at with my husband, to see how much she has grown, along with what symptoms I may look forward to for the month”

On Becoming Baby Wise (Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam) has become a very important tool for a couple of my closest mommy friends; they ALL swear by its teachings, and go “by the book”.  Baby Wise teaches parents to schedule their new baby’s routine around the parent’s daily schedule as much as possible.  This book points out that the baby is coming into your life, not the other way around.  Regarding Baby Wise Erin (mommy to Emma) has this to say:

“Baby Wise is great for getting your baby to sleep through the night within 8 weeks.  It is very important to stick with it and to be consistent with the scheduling.  It provides a method of feeding on a schedule, but also lets you be in control.  It creates an “eat, play sleep” routine and helps your baby to thrive.  It has worked wonders for me as a new and first time mom and I love the structure it has instilled in my daughter.  She doesn’t need to be rocked to sleep for naps or at night, all I do is lay her in her crib and she is asleep with in 5 minutes- no screaming or crying. I love it- but you have to stick with it!!!”

Val (mommy to Spencer and Grace) said this about “Baby Wise”:

“One book I swear by, Baby Wise (and all the books in the series,) is truly a routine we followed to get both kids to sleep, on their own, at a VERY early age. Most people who come over to our house are stunned and amazed at how our kids take naps and go to sleep with little or no fussing.  We literally lay them down when it’s time (this is key), and they fall asleep on their own.”

Things have changed from the days of Dr. Spock, but one thing seems to ring true throughout all of these books- scheduling is your key to a quiet first year and beyond.  What books have helped you survive this wonderful, but challenging first year?  I am sure all those expectant moms out there would love to have feedback from you ‘pros’ – after all…it IS the end of the recession!

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