New Mom Baby Fears? Not Even Pregnant Yet and Scared?

I am constantly around new babies – I swear I sneeze and there are 2 new babies in my life from my best friends to cousins to family members. Sometimes it is overhwhelming hearing about all of their “new-mom” or “to-be-mom fears.” It makes me think, what kind of new mom will I be? I did a little research and here are some new mom baby fears and how you can conquer them. J

LEAVING THE HOUSE WITH YOUR NEWBORN

• Fear: You don’t want to expose him to all sorts of germs. 
• Re-Think It: Sneezing kids and groping strangers are legitimate concerns, but cabin fever is an even bigger one. You need fresh air and a change of scenery to boost your spirits. Plus, even very young babies benefit from the stimulation of a different environment. 
• Move Forward: Run errands together, go for strolls, and boldly live your life. But be smart about bugs: Avoid crowds until your child is 3 months old (especially during the winter, when colds and flu are rampant).

MAKING NOISE DURING NAPTIME

• Fear: Everyone says, “Don’t wake a sleeping baby.” 
• Re-Think It: Tiptoeing around the house impedes your ability to get things done in those precious free moments, like tidying up or phoning a friend. Ordinary household noise won’t wake most babies, who are used to sounds from the womb. 
• Move Forward: While it’s certainly not advisable to blast your stereo, break out of your Cone of Silence. If your child is particularly noise-sensitive or tends to awaken prematurely, try turning on a fan. And if you live in a bustling city environment, a white-noise machine can effectively mute street sounds.

PUTTING YOUR INFANT DOWN TO BED WHEN HE/SHE IS CRYING

• Fear: The last thing you want is to leave her emotionally scarred from your “abandonment” or feel like you are being a “mean Mom.” 
• Re-Think It: Endlessly rocking and patting your still-wailing baby can heighten up your anxiety, frustration, and exhaustion levels — three things a new mother definitely doesn’t need any more of. What’s even worse: A child who spends almost all of her time in Mommy’s arms may become even fussier when you put her down. Nip it in the bud!! It will become a vicious cycle. 
• Move Forward: Accept that crying is part of being a healthy baby, not something you always need to stop. Often, it’s your child’s way of soothing his or herself. While it’s fine to soothe your infant for a while, placing her in the crib and leaving the room to take a breather is totally permissible. Just make sure he or she is not in distress.

 SLEEP-TRAINING

• Fear: No one wants to listen to her child shriek for hours nonstop. 
• Re-Think It: If a few months of nighttime wakings have left you feeling super tired – now imagine doing it for a year or more! While stumbling into the nursery multiple times a night to help your baby settle down feels like the right thing to do, it’s not: Sleeping through the night and self-soothing are learned skills — and it’s your job to teach them! 
• Move Forward: By 3 months, your baby is developmentally ready for sleep-training. While you can certainly wait until, say, 7 or 8 months to let her cry it out, keep in mind that the older she gets, the more ingrained her nighttime habits will become. Start by putting your child in her crib, drowsy but still awake.

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Daylight Savings & Kids Sleeping Tips!

Daylight savings is coming up on Sunday, March 11th. It’s spring so we move our clocks forward one hour and “lose” an extra hour at night. Even just an hour change can be a disruption in your child’s (*and yours!) sleep.

This never comes soon enough for me though it can make it temporarily a little harder to get up in the morning since it’s darker. These simple tips for babies (6 months and older), toddlers and kids will help you stay on track with good sleep habits. Give your children a few days to settle in to the new time. After they adjust to the new clock, the only thing left to do is get outside and enjoy that extra hour of light at night.

This is important to understand because it is already hard to find the right nap or bedtime and with the time change, it can be even trickier. Effectively, the time change is like jet lag if you were to travel one time zone ahead of you. Because our internal clocks are “set” to be asleep or awake at certain times, adjusting your schedule on the day before and the morning of the time change can help immensely. But, this means you must change your whole routine, not just sleep times. There are many things that cue your baby into a schedule or routine such as the sunrise, meal times, the time you take her out for a walk, and so on. So, if your baby wakes at 6 a.m. and her nap is usually at 8 a.m., on the day before the time change, put her down a little early.

KEY: Change all your daytime routines to be a little earlier, not just sleep.

1.  On Saturday try to do everything 15 minutes or so earlier. Since most kids won’t want to go to bed a whole hour early (and may not be ready) then put them to bed on Saturday night (3/10) 30 minutes early, slightly shortening their day.

2.  Spring your clocks forward an hour when you go to bed or if you want your kids to think they’re staying up late, set them before they go to bed. 🙂

3.  Wake up with your child(ren) at the usual time on Sunday morning (3/11). Here is where they will lose a little sleep but it sets them up for going to bed at the regular time to start the week right. For babies and toddlers just let them nap a little longer if they need it but not too long or they may not go to sleep easily in the evening.

4.  Follow the clock for naps and bedtime from here forward. It can take a few days for your child to fully adjust, so be patient and consistent.

Tip: If you don’t already have them, try room-darkening blinds/curtains at night.

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Flat Head Syndrome (Plagiocephaly) and How to Avoid It

Plagiocephaly is a condition that causes a baby’s head to have a flat spot (flat head syndrome) or be misshapen.

The most common form is positional plagiocephaly. It occurs when a baby’s head develops a flat spot due to pressure on that area. Babies are vulnerable because their skull is soft and pliable when they’re born.

Positional plagiocephaly typically develops after birth when babies spend time in a position that puts pressure on one part of the skull. Because babies spend so much time lying on their back, for example, they may develop a flat spot where their head presses against the mattress.

Everyone’s skull is a bit asymmetrical. And in many cases, a flat spot on a baby’s head will round out on its own around 6 months of age, as she starts crawling and sitting up. Nevertheless, if you notice flattening of your baby’s head at any time, don’t wait and talk to your pediatrician. More severe cases of positional plagiocephaly can be corrected by having the baby wear a custom helmet or band for two to four months. Be sure to chat with your baby’s provider about head shape at each well-child checkup.

The Back to Sleep Campaign was launched in the early 1990s to help prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, SIDS. Since the American Academy of Pediatrics started recommending placing babies on their backs when putting them to bed, the number of cases of SIDS has been cut in half, according to the CDC. That’s awesome!

But something that has increased since then is the number of cases of babies with flat head syndrome, sometimes referred to as positional plagiocephaly. If babies spend all of their time on their backs, it can lead to positional flattening or molding of the head.

A new report published this week in the journal Pediatrics contains new recommendations for pediatricians and parents on how to prevent and correct head flattening in babies. The number of babies diagnosed with the misshapen skull syndrome known as positional plagiocephaly has increased exponentially since safe sleep recommendations have had infants spending so much time on their backs, researchers found. And while they in no way suggest that parents ignore the recommended safe sleep practices, researchers suggest that pediatricians counsel parents from their babies’ very first checkups on ways to prevent and correct flattening heads.

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CNN.com lists 5 of the recommendations, which can help parents avoid placing their babies in skull-correcting helmets if the problem has not improved by 6 months of age:

1. Increase “tummy” time, which is supervised time during the day when baby lies on its stomach. A baby should spend at least 30 to 60 minutes a day on it’s belly, something that can be done immediately after birth. This will help develop neck and shoulder muscles, says [the report’s lead author, Dr. James] Laughlin. It has also been shown to “enhance motor developmental scores,” according to this new report.
2. The NIH recommends changing the direction your baby lies in the crib each week.  They say this change will encourage the baby to turn his or her head in different directions to avoid resting in the same position all the time.
3. Some babies prefer to hold their head to one side. Laughlin suggests laying them down in a different way when they’re awake, so they have something interesting to look at on the opposite side. If you have them in a car seat or sitting in something else, you can also change the position to make the baby look in the opposite direction.
4. Parents may find their babies sleep well sitting in a car seat, but this is another way they can develop an asymmetrical shape, especially in the first 6 months of life.  So experts suggest babies shouldn’t spend a prolonged period of time in a car seat (unless they are in a car of course) or bouncy seat.
5. Cuddle!  The NIH says “getting cuddle time with the baby by holding him or her upright over one shoulder often during the day,” is another way to prevent flat spots.

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Goodnight, Sleep Tight!

Since becoming a mom this past April, my world has changed, especially my sleep world! In the beginning we were up every 2-3 hours, including in the middle of the night. We would hear rustlings from the Pack N’ Play and know, it was time to get up. It wasn’t too long though, before we were only up a couple times each night. At eight weeks our little Elijah started sleeping “through the night” so-to-speak from 11 pm to 5 am. At about ten weeks he started sleeping through-through the night from 9pm to 5am, and that is where we are at with his sleep schedule today. I must say that I am relieved that he is such a good sleeper, it keeps me fresh and ready for the work day ahead of me. However, every night is not always that great. There are some nights I am up two or three times trying to get Eli to fall back asleep or on occasion having to nurse him because he is going through a growth spurt.  

Elijah swaddled

Here are some suggestions to use for your baby, that may help you get the FULL night’s sleep you have been waiting for.  

• Put baby to sleep on a flat firm surface such as his crib or a Pack n Play – this really made a difference for us. We went from the bassinet to the raised Pack N Play to the crib and each time we moved him to a new “bed” he would sleep better than in the previous “bed”.
• Swaddle the baby- try to get it tight or use a Velcro swaddler (Summer and Woombie are two great brands)
• Make sure baby is not too hot, or too cold (double swaddle if necessary)
• Check baby’s diaper- there may have been some middle of the night “damage” and they need a fresh diaper
• Rub baby’s tummy- this is a great soothing tool that we use a lot
• Give baby a pacifier- Elijah’s used to fall out all the time so we invested in the Wubbanub to help keep the paci in place (PaciPlushie is also another similar product)
  

  Elijah with his pacifier and Wubbanub

• Rock or sway with baby baby for just a short time to calm them
• …And lastly, make sure baby’s tummy is full!  Night hunger is usually caused by growth spurts (once your baby has started sleeping through the night)

We would love to hear any of your suggestions for getting your baby back to sleep in the middle of the night.  Leave your suggestions in the comments section below!

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Baby’s Weird Sleep Habits…you are not crazy!

As new parents, we all question, “Is that normal what the baby is doing right now while he/she is sleeping?” Usually there is a Mom or Dad there to comfort you or perhaps even a baby nurse that can calm your nerves…or you might be the type to rush to the doctor, only to be relieved that it is all part of a child’s sleeping habits. Here are some baby sleeping habits decoded and hopefully help give you peace of mind. And although you can never really predict a baby’s sleeping habits because all babies are different, there are some rough estimates of what parents can expect.

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Head Banging in the Crib
Seeing your baby hit his head against the crib mattress or rails as he’s dozing off can certainly be upsetting. Fortunately, it’s usually normal. According to Parents.com, “Up to 20 percent of children are head-bangers, and boys are much more likely to do it than girls. It typically starts at around 6 months and slows or stops by age 3. The exact reason for head banging is unknown, but experts generally believe that it’s a way to self-soothe.”

“In utero, a fetus is constantly being jostled to and fro, so a baby may be soothed by the rocking motion of head banging,” says Rahil Briggs, Psy.D., a pediatric psychologist at Children’s Hospital at Montefiore Medical Center, in New York City.  So there’s no need to pad the crib with bumpers or pillows — after all, placing soft items in the crib increases risk of suffocation

Twitching
Don’t be surprised if your sleeping baby sometimes kicks her legs and punches her arms. She’s not having a nightmare. Babies have a very immature nervous system, and it’s hard for them to control their reflexes and responses to environmental noise and temperature – a.k.a. this means that those unpredictable movements are involuntary and usually harmless.

Snoring
Although we like to think that only parents snore, babies can produce the sound effect too. Snoring is usually the result of air passing through your little one’s narrow nasal cavity or the back of the throat. The noise may happen because a baby has a cold or because his nasal passage is clogged with milk or baby food — which can get pushed upward when he spits up. Use a suction bulb or saline drops to clear the nose.

Just Remember….
You can help your baby to sleep better and longer by teaching good sleep habits and establishing a good bedtime routine. That means sticking to a regular nightly bedtime and nightly routine—maybe it’s playtime followed by bath time followed by reading a book and cuddling. The baby will get used to the nightly routine and sleep better each night. Every baby has different needs and a different schedule, so don’t expect every baby to fall into these categories. Figure out what works for your baby, and do your best to make sure she’s getting all the sleep she needs—and that you are, too. Sleep when the baby sleeps they say!

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Is it time for a Big Boy Bed?

Oh, boy! My baby is growing up. He’s hit another milestone. Paulo is 21 months, not quite two years old, but my husband and I have decided to move him into a regular bed. Our daughter was probably about the same age, but I’m not an expert. I’m not quite sure when the right time is to transition your toddler from a crib to a bed. BabyCenter says “sometime between ages 1-1/2 and 3-1/2,” stating that “it’s best to wait until your child is closer to 3.” I’m within the range but I decided to use mommy instincts on this one.

Usually I can leave my son in the crib while I go brush my teeth, wash my hands, or even just a couple steps to his closet to pick out what Le Top outfit to put him in. However the past couple of months, he’s gotten so active that when I turn around he’s already got one leg hoisted over the crib and the second leg spring-loaded ready to propel himself in mid-air. So before he seriously injures himself, my husband and I decided to move him to his first bed.

For safety, we put the bed mattress directly on the floor instead of putting the mattress on a bed frame so that he is closer to the ground. To keep him from rolling out of bed while sleeping, we placed bed rails on each side. The first couple of nights were tough because he was terribly excited about his new sleeping arrangements that he would just roll himself from left to right, then back again, only because he can. (Mind you, he has a full-size bed so there’s a lot of room to play steamroller.) By mid-week, when the excitement boiled over, he became accustomed to his bed.

It’s been three weeks now since the big “move” and Paulo LOVES his bed! His crib is still in his room because my husband is too lazy to dismantle it and I am in denial that my baby is no longer a baby. Sometimes, out of habit, I’ll put him in his crib while I go to his closet. He cries and looks at me with sad puppy eyes as if he’s asking me if he’s in trouble. (We really need to dismantle it!) Although, the best part is when it’s time for bed. After we brush his teeth, he’ll run to his room and things will be quiet. When I walk in, I always find him under the covers sitting up with a book on his lap and a big smile ready for story time. So precious!

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Tips for reducing stress during kiddo bedtime

All parents deal with that special time of night that I like to refer to as the “witching hour”…when you are tired from a long day of work and your sweet kiddos are tired and turn into cranky kiddos and you may burst into tears. Ha!  In my opinion, whoever is caring for your children during the time before bed isn’t the only one who is dealing with the kids’ moods – it’s the whole family! At this time of day, you are trying to wind-down your children, fatigue is high, the family is transitioning their own day and kids often are at their neediest. It’s no wonder this time of day can be painful for parents! Many moms and dads need the time to decompress and have some quiet time themselves around children’s bedtime. Here are some tips on how to keep the peace without resorting to 2 tall glasses of vino and know that your children go to bed smiling.

Get comfy as a parent
Changing after work helps you make the mental shift you need to rid of a sour mood. The minute you put on your comfy clothes, you begin to relax. Also, often time parents are wearing work clothes they don’t want to get dirty with the kids when they get home, so changes creates a more relaxed atmosphere.

A breath of fresh air
Kids tend to be wound up from the day and even more excited when you arrive home from work. Before beginning your evening routine, take a walk around the block or just head out to the yard.

Give kids what they want — you.
Many moms come home and immediately feel they have to jump into household chores. Instead, take your shoes off and give your kids your total attention so they don’t spend the new hour or two fighting for your attention. Even if it is just ten minutes, your children will then most likely go play with their toys or entertain themselves with their siblings, etc.

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When should your toddler stop needing a nap?

Recently my boyfriend’s niece says she is a big girl now (3-years-old) and she doesn’t need a nap anymore. She honestly seems to be doing great overall without a nap. How her mom knew it was time to stop? I did a bit of research to find out. Tell us your tips on how you knew it was time to stop naptime too!

Studies show that many children stop taking naps at around age 4, but some experts say that may be too soon. Daytime sleep is important for kids during preschool and even throughout kindergarten. If your child falls asleep easily at naptime, it’s probably a sign he or she still needs a daytime nappy/snooze. The following are indications that it’s time to stop: 

• Your child is consistently fidgety and restless at naptime.
• He/She doesn’t have meltdowns in the late afternoon when misses his or her nap.
• When he does nap, he has a hard time going to sleep at his regular bedtime.

Judith Owens, pediatric sleep expert says that, “Most children under the age of 1 take two naps a day — usually one in the morning and another in the afternoon. By 18 months, most have given up the morning nap but still need an afternoon snooze to make it through dinner without a meltdown. Even when you’ve kissed the morning nap goodbye, your toddler’s likely to continue needing her afternoon nap for quite some time. At age 4, more than 50 percent of children are still taking naps. And even though the majority of children (about 70 percent) stop napping at 5 years, 3 in 10 still need a nap at this age.”

However, every kiddo is different.

Much depends on how many hours your toddler sleeps at night. Aside from the obvious fact that you need time to check your e-mail, make a phone call, or clean up the house, naps are critical to growing children. “Research suggests that physical and mental development takes place when kids sleep-both at night and during the day,” says Daniel Lewin, Ph.D., director of pediatric behavioral sleep medicine at Children’s National Medical Center, in Washington, D.C.  Studies have shown that kids who nap have longer attention spans and are less fussy than those who don’t. And perhaps the best reason of all: When kids rest during the day, they tend to sleep longer at night.  Toddlers need approximately 12 to 14 hours of sleep in each 24-hour period.

It can be hard as your toddler grows older to have him or her take a nap. Toddlers want to explore and discover the world, and especially hate to miss out on anything, even if they are super exhausted.

Want a happy nap?

Do: Build a nap routine and aim to stick to the same naptime each day, but be flexible on special occasions.

Don’t: Wait until your child is asleep to put him down in his crib or bed.

Do: Encourage your baby to sleep in her own crib or bed for naps after she’s 2 months old.

Don’t: Keep your child up too late at night, which will interfere with his daytime sleep.

Do: Keep her room as quiet and dark as possible.

Do: Put her down for her nap in the same place where she sleeps at night.

If your child gives up her naps altogether before she’s 4 years old, at least offer her some quiet time every day. Tell her that children rest after lunch so they’ll have enough energy to play later on.

Keep in mind that most children need lots of sleep. BabyCenter sleep expert Jodi Mindell, author of Sleeping Through the Night, says, “If a child has poor sleep habits or refuses to go to bed before 11 at night, his parents will think that he just doesn’t need a lot of sleep. That’s probably not true — in fact, it’s likely that such a child is actually sleep-deprived.”

If you are questioning if your child still needs a name, below are questions that answer if your child probably needs one:

• Does your child fall asleep almost every time he’s in a car?
• Do you have to wake your child almost every morning?
• Does your child seem cranky, irritable, or overtired during the day?
• On some nights, does your child seem to crash much earlier than his usual bedtime?

Eventually your child will stop napping and start doing all of his sleeping at night. Preschoolers and young elementary school students still need up to ten or 11 hours of sleep a night, but that amount will gradually diminish.

Unfortunately, there’s no way of really knowing what age your little one will nap until. But, hopefully these tips and facts helped you to understand your kiddos daytime sleep. 🙂

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But I’m Not Tired!

Is this the phrase you hear from your child – when it is clearly late by the clock on the wall – and their grumpy, reactionary response to a call for bedtime tells you that he or she is in fact VERY tired? In our family our daily schedules are full, and if we want to spend time together, sleep tends to fall on the later side. I have always been thankful that my daughter sleeps well through the night and generally wakes up on her own; though I have found that having a good bedtime routine helps keep nighttime fuss to a minimum. The younger your child is when starting a bedtime routine, the more quickly the habits can be set into their brains. The goal is to have your kids fall to sleep on their own without you having to lie next to them or rock them to sleep.

Here is a short list of guidelines to follow:

• Stop or reduce physically and mentally stimulating activities 1 hour (or more depending on the child) before bed. Instead, have your child read, draw, or play with their toys in a quiet place. I know it is not recommended for them to watch TV during this time, but in our house, if it is something she’s not particularly interested in, it can have a sedative-like effect. If we are calm then she calms down. That does not mean let them fall asleep in front of the TV (though I am sometimes guilty of this after a long day). You still want to make sure they are awake when you start their sleepy-time routine.
• Bedtime routines vary depending on what works best in your family and the age of your child. Very often a bath is a perfect activity because it is relaxing. Even if bath time is not included, make sure they put on their pajamas, brush their teeth, use the potty and wash their face at a set time.
• Next, it is a good idea to help them unwind by talking with them and reading a bedtime story (or 3 as the case may be). Often my daughter tries to stretch her ‘just before bed time’ by ignoring my reading and instead starts jumping on the bed or playing around. I remind her that I am going to continue reading and when I’m done, I will leave the room whether she listened to the story or not. That always seems to get her to lie back down and listen.
• After the book – fix their covers, kiss them goodnight, wish them sweet dreams (or whatever you do) and leave the room. Many children have a favorite blanket or stuffed animal that gives them comfort while falling asleep. This is okay unless they are infants in which case it can be a safety hazard. Fans can be a nice white noise if there is still too much noise and activity in the house, but try to stay away from leaving any music on. I’ve known too many people that can’t fall asleep unless the TV or radio is on. This is not a habit that you want to nurture. There may be some crying, but unless is seems excessive for a long period of time – let it happen. If you run in every time your child starts crying, he or she will continue to do it.

Don’t give up – Yes, it can be painful in the short-term, but in long run you will set your child up for healthy nighttime habits. Be sure they get enough sleep between their night sleep and their naps to enable them to think clearly and recharge their cells.

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Le Top Darlings of the Day: Chloe Grace and Joseph Clayton

 

These precious twins (now 4-months-old) are too cute for words. I’m sure they will be finishing each other sentences and reading each others thoughts in no time. We are pleased as punch to honor Chloe and Joseph as our Darlings of the Day.

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