Pregnancy Update: I’m the Seven Dwarfs All Rolled into One

Don't mess with me, Buddy! Ooh... and hand over the cookies.

Yup, that’s me! I’m Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey, Clumsy, Forgetful, Hungry, and Hormonal all in one. This last trimester is catching up with me! There’s so much I need to do during the day, yet, as I sit here typing out this blog entry, my eyelids are dangerously half closed…and it’s only 11:00 AM! If I’m not sleepy, I’m definitely grumpy. Probably because I want to sleep and crawl back into my warm bed and forget about all my responsibilities for the day.

Will someone pick up Miranda from preschool, feed her lunch, and entertain her, while I go have a little nappy-nap? What do you mean “You’re busy”? I’M BUSY! AND SLEEPY! AND I’VE GOT CANKLES! Have you seen my bloated, elephant feet lately? Well, I haven’t! There’s this humongous belly growing before me which makes me so clumsy and dopey — I’m always dropping my car keys (or my fork, or my sunglasses, or whatever’s in my hand at the moment). And as I struggle to bend down and pick them up, I drop them again!

Sometimes, on my way down to pick up my dropped item, I forget what I’m doing down there in the first place so I stand back up, then realize I have to squat back down to pick up my keys. Let’s just say, I do more squats than a body builder. I shouldn’t have “cankles.” Instead I should have buns of steel or sexy calves.

Speaking of sexy…I’m always hungry, so looking”sexy” is just some blurry figment my brain can’t quite grasp. Having gestational diabetes makes me hungry (yes, I know I’m already eating six times a day) for cake, cookies, ice cream, chocolate…SUGAR!! If you tell a person they can’t have it, they’ll want it even more. It’s an injustice to go through this while I’m pregnant…it’s supposed to be a time to blissfully enjoy all the foods I want to eat without worrying about my figure. It takes a lot of energy to grow a baby inside me, you know!

It makes me sad just thinking how my poor little baby is being deprived of heavenly goodness until he/she comes out. At which point, all the little munchkin can have is milk. Woe is me! Woe is the baby! I feel unloved and abandoned! Just wait until my husband comes home. He did this to me. He better rub my aching back! And my tired feet! And my cankles (which he finds disgusting: “Ew, what happened to your ankles?“)! And feed me grapes (though he has to be careful because I’m only allowed 10 grapes per serving)! And fan me! All while I recline on the couch, and all at the same time because…I feel like I’m having a hot flash! Did I mention that I’m in my third trimester? That I’m hormonal? 😉